Yawn.

Hello my fellow insomniacs.

This is Kacie Renn Lynshah, coming to you live from my wired brain. I've been broadcasting live since before two in the morning (yes, I did say MORNING), and it only gets later and later in the day (because that is generally what the day does: get late...)

So, of course instead of laying in my bed, with my eyes closed, trying to get to sleep despite the futility of the effort, I decided to blog. It's been a while. And maybe you'll all (all five of you) enjoy my frantic musings.

I've been seriously thinking about redecorating this page. The template I have now is so generic... almost like a cereal box.

Why am I thinking seriously about this? Why not flippantly, or desperately, or angerly? (Is angerly a word? Anybody?)

I don't know why I'm taking it so seriously. I guess I just want my creative place to look nice, and to inspire me and others. And I also want it to be appealing, so that when all those people who surf blogs for fun come upon mine, they'll stop to look at it, and not just pass it by, possibly screaming from the atrocity of it.

I've been thinking about people again.

Uh oh. You know what that means.

But this time, I'm not going to do a thorough, generalized outlook on people as an entire race. No, we'll save another one of those for when I read Dante's Inferno, or until I'm taking allergy meds. Whichever comes first.

This time I just want to address one topic.

How people change.

Okay, so I'm generally a person who adores change. No, really. REALLY. I love change in scenery, I love change in the people around you, I love changing the person you are for the better. Basically, I love it when my life is unsettled.

But what about the kind of change that hurts you?

Or makes you different, in not necessarily a positive way?

Whoa. It's really weird hearing this come out of my own mouth. Just a year ago, I probably would have been totally for negative change.... Uh, as odd as that might sound to you.

(OH, and you might be wondering, Gee, how are you able to hear words coming from your mouth when, in reality, you're actually typing them? I'll give you this mental picture: I actually announce everything I'm going to type before I type it. So if you walk into the room while I'm blogging.... prepare yourself for a proclamation.)

Anyway, back to change. I know a lot of people who have been changed for the worse by certain events in their life. I'm one of them, but I've learned that change is really a good thing, and that it always happens, and will continue to happen, even after--the biggest change of all--we are dead.

But some people never figure that out.

Sometimes, the negative change isn't really that dire. It's something like giving up a hobby in order to focus on getting good grades. It can even have a positive effect as well. (Uh, if it wasn't clear, that positive effect would be getting good grades.) But what are you giving up, really? And at what cost?

Okay, so I have never claimed to believe in happiness, at least not as a lasting state. You all should know that by now. But if a person can gleam a bit of happiness, or more appropriately, JOY from something, then shouldn't they?

Now, moving on to the fear of change that comes from a bad experience. I've been there. I'm sure we all have at one point in our lives. But it is only just what it proclaims to be: an experience. It teaches you something. Probably something important. And that something might be that change is good for you. Or, you know... It could be something completely different. Whatever.

But the point, my dear friends, is that you should (and really it is your only option) take it. Because most likely, it will be your only chance to learn from something like this. And you shouldn't let it change you for the worse. Because plenty of people get bitter or mean or depressed or fake. They get SERIOUSLY MESSED UP just because of change.

And yes, change can be a sad thing. It can have negative effects, or positive one's. But it isn't really good or bad....although, like I've said previously, I think it leans more towards good. But it's inevitable. Forever.

So.... You all just read a life lesson (coming from a high school student) that you most likely already knew. Thanks for the patience.

The funny thing: I already knew all of that too. I have no idea why I suddenly felt the need to rant about it.

I think it was off set by the play I was just in, You Can't Take It With You. The whole time I was doing it, I never really realized how deep it was. But then yesterday, our last show, I finally got it. You can't take it with you when you die. So enjoy it now.

It's an important lesson to learn. And I guess knowing about change is connected to it in lots of ways.

Thanks for reading everybody. You'll hear from me later.