Identity Crisis... How Sardonic.

One of the things I like best about writing is that you can be as loud as you want to be.

It occurred to me the other day that I created this blog because I wanted to be heard, and I wanted people to get to know me. And then, in short concurrence to that one, I had another realization that if that was what I truly wanted, I wouldn't have created this blog in a different name. That by using a fake name, it meant that I was scared for the world to really get to know ME.

And this all sounds reeeeallly familiar. Have we been here before?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure we have.

If you meet me, and you don't really know me (which would make sense, considering you are meeting me), then you might think that I'm a shy person. But this assumption wouldn't be true, as I've gone over before. There is a big difference between a person who is shy, and person.... Well, and a person like me. I don't even really know how to explain it anymore. And I know I've already written a whole entry about this, but I need to go over this again, for my personal sanity.

I'm not shy because I'm not afraid to say what I really mean. I'm not shy because I have very strong opinions, and I share them frequently. I'm not shy because I have friends, and I can socialize when I feel like it. I'm just not shy, and if I'm not talking, it's because I have nothing to say to you. Small talk is stupid, in my opinion. So I probably wouldn't talk to you first. You have to make the effort, as conceited as that sounds.

Uhg. I'm sorry that I'm writing this all over again. I'm just having an identity crisis right now, and it helps to remind myself of who I am. And writing it all out helps, because sometimes things can get lost in my head.

When I write, I have a voice, one that everyone can hear. And it's different from a physical voice. You don't need to actually have ears, and I don't need to project. And if I write something well enough, it doesn't matter that you're reading my voice. If it's well written, then you can hear me anyway.

Is it weird that every time I look into a mirror, I see somebody different? Do other people do that to?

I think that for so long, I've thought that I've accepted who I am, when all I've really been doing is accepting that I'm going to change. I haven't accepted a set person, just the idea of one.

And maybe that is all you can ever do. We change so often, are we really the same person from one minute to the next? Or are there little things about us that are altered, that nobody but ourselves (and sometimes not even us) perceive?

Oh my gosh! I can wiggle my nose!

All I'm doing is thinking out loud at this point. And no matter how much I don't like to be selfish, this blog is about me. Even if my name isn't attached to it. Because, really, what does a name matter if the essence is the same? Like Juliet said, "What's in a name?" or something along those lines...

Thanks for reading. I don't blame you if you skipped over this entry. Too much angst.


http://www.casttv.com/video/xa9bmc1/safety-dance-men-without-hats-official-video

Oh, yeah, and guys. Check out one of my all time favorite music videos at the link above. You won't regret it.