IT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blogger! Where have you been? I've been worried sick!

What? You needed some space? Your server was getting overloaded?

But, I thought we had something special! A real connection....

Blogger, please don't do this. I'll be better! If you want space, I'll give you space. I'll make sure to double space all of my entries!

And if you're mad about my flippancy... Well don't be. I'll stop the coming and then leaving for long periods of time.

I'm just so glad you're back!

...

So, as you may have guessed (or not, because really that didn't make any sense if you didn't know the context of the situation), Blogger is back up and running.

Oh, you didn't know it was down to begin with?

Well, it was. And I'm not sure exactly how long it was down, but all I know is that I came running here in my time of need last night, wanting to fume about the general unfairness of the world and old people, and Blogger had abandoned me, left me on my own to actually deal with my issues like a regular person...

But that's all in the past now. And, unfortunately, so is that entry.

I know; you're heart broken.

But don't be too disappointed. Maybe someday I'll post the entry I pummeled out onto a word document (and trust me, I really had to convince it to come). And if not... Well, it will just be one of the world's unsolved mysteries. Like Atlantis. Or Donald Trump's Hair.

All thanks to Blogger.

You know, if I wasn't so ecstatic to have Blogger back, I would probably flip him (yes, Blogger is a him) the bird. And you know the one I mean.... *bloop-bloop-bloop* *FLASHFORWARD*

Me: (Scanning the tundra of Oz (and by Oz, I of course mean Australia, not the magical land where the munchkins dwell...) with a pair of super-blow-your-mind-high-tech-spy-gear binoculars) Look! There he is. Now stay quiet as we observe the majestically occurrence of the Erectified Somnitical Struthio camelus. In other words, an Ostrich standing while asleep.

Tourists: (Whoa. When did they show up?) Ooooo, Aaahh.

Me: (Tugging my cute, utilitarian safari hat over my be-goggled eyes) Now, keep your voices down; we don't want to wake it.

Tourists: (Staring in silence, intently, although they can't see as well as I can with my fancy-pants binoculars.... HA! Game, bitches!)

Me: It is a common practice here in The Outback for adolescents such as myself to go bird flipping... It is said to be the equivalent of cow tipping of our own Wisconsin.... Although, who really knew what the hell they were thinking when they came up with that tradition...

Tourists: (Silent, bland. Oh, except for the family from Wisconsin standing in the back, opening beer cans and glaring at me.... I guess you can please everybody.)

(P.S. I would make a TERRIBLE tour guide. In case you hadn't already deduced that)

Me: So.... (Pulling out a helmet and strapping it to my head) Who cares to have a go? But be careful, those buggers are almighty quick! (Chuckle, Chuckle)

*End of FLASHFORWARD or SCENE or WTHTHATWAS*

(He he... ba-ba-ba- bird BIRD ba-birds the word oh-well-a..... Now that song will be stuck in your head forever.)

Anyway, I guess, since I took all my angst out on my poor word pad last night, I'm really just checking in and warming up. I plan on taking a look at my half written book tonight... maybe I'll accomplish something, too!

Also, there's this really funny lady. And, I don't know if any of you (all of my numerous followers) have heard of her, but she's, uh, REALLY funny, and, uh, Well, she wrote a book recently, and you should check her blog out.... HERE! You may have to dig a little for the Really Funny Entries (and yes, they are so funny that I felt I had to capitalize "Really Funny Entries")

Also, someday in the near future, I'm going to change my template for this blog. I know I've mentioned it before, but I'm mentioning it again with the added on warning that I'm serious this time. So, be warned! Don't just skip over this part thinking, Oh, Pshhh, She'll never follow through, just to end up checking back in here a week later to find the site COMPLETELY different, and in turn triggering your epilepsy or panic attacks or Irritable Bowl Syndrome (Do you like how Irritable Bowl Syndrome is the only one capitalized?) or something equally as alarming. (And in case you're scoffing at the comparison of epilepsy and I.B.S (which stands for Irritable Bowl Syndrome, in case that escaped your notice), they are both equally upsetting.)

Oh, G! Would you look at the time! Considering I have a couple of chapters to write-slash-revise, and summer gym to top it all off in the morning, I've got to fly!

Thanks, as always, for reading! Sorry if my run-on sentences and confusing dialog triggered a seizure. Talk to my insurance company; they'll handle it.