Just like the Movies....

Hello Everybody, and welcome to tonight's showwwwww!

For your entertainment this fine evening..........(babadaBUM!) me!

The song of the night is "The Blues are Still Blue" by Belle and Sebastian.

The thing about this song is that, for me, it's borderline annoying. But it seems to fit the theme of today, and I'm waking up to it tomarrow, so what the hell.

I would like to address a serious issue with you today. My life.

Okay, okay. I know it doesn't sound that exciting, but I'll try to spice it up.

Keep in mind that when I planned out this entry, I was in a very serious mood, and now I'm not. I almost wish I was, so that I could write what I really mean, but.... Oh well.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie. Does that ever happen to you? For example, at my school they play music during the time we have inbetween bells. I'll be walking down the hallways, looking particularily snazzy one day, and a draft will come out of no where and blow my hair in a model-esque way, and I'll be stepping in perfect time to the beat of the song. The sound track of my life.

But it's not just that. As over used this idea is, I feel like my life isn't real sometimes. Silly, right?
Or, maybe it is real, but I'm stuck perminantly in the expostition, of that first scene where the characters are introduced and you get to know the main character and what her life is like. But nothing has happened yet... I know what you're thinking. Every teen feels like this blahblahblah. Well, you're probably right. But this is how I feel, right now, dammit. And I'm going to tell you all about it.

Anyway, I'm just waiting for the plot to unfold. And I know there is a plot, and a good one, too. this isn't that kind of movie where the characters run around doing drugs and having sex and escaping ax-weilding pysicopaths and having sex again (Although that would make my life very interesting if that was the case....). But in all of those movies, nobody does anything of importance, so what's the point? No. My life is a blockbuster waiting to happen. It will be bigger than Avatar.

Here's the part where I talk about my feelings, so if you're squeemish... Well, look out.

I feel like I need to do something really important with my life. Not like become the president or cure cancer important (although I wouldn't complain if I did do those things too... Naw. Too much effort.), but something substantial. Something recognizable. And something very far away from here.

Does everyone feel like that?

I'm guessing the answer is yes, and that's kind of depressing. If I can't even have unique feelings, how am I supposed to go and do something unique with my life?

Anyway, going back to the movie thing. I wish the director knew what they were doing. (Hey, since this is my life, does that make me the director? And if so, does that mean that I have complete control over my life? Hm. Deep things to ponder.) There are some times when I just want to say, "Cut! Cut! That was terrible! Do it all over again!" Or some times I want to cut scenes that shouldn't have ever been written. (Stupid writers...getting carried away with themselves...)

And quite often I find the actors are less that satifactory as well. But hey, that's life.

Have you ever seen a movie where you can hear the character's thoughts? Like a sort of voice over? I'm sure you have, because I've seen plenty of them. It's kind of tacky, right? When you can hear thoughts, because thoughts aren't meant to be heard. But sometimes it seems like I'm in one of those movies. It's hard to believe that no one but me can hear what I'm thinking. Especially on those days when my thoughts are actually coherent. And it's weird to think that I'm the only witness to the fragmented or fluent ponderings that are the fruit of my mind. (Geez. Do you see what I mean? Some of my thoughts are so pretentious they practically scream.)

Have you ever not realized that you weren't talking because you're thinking so loudly, your thoughts should be able to be heard all on their own? No? That just happens to me? Oh. Well.

But if you think about it, private thoughts are a blessing. I guess this seems kind of obvious. But it's a miracle. All of those mean things that you think and then instantly regret... No one has to know about them but you. In a world where everything and everyone is on display, the only thing that we do have that's private are our thoughts. (hehe. I just had a funny thought of something else that's mostly private, but I'm not going to type it here because I'll probably regret it later. Ohh. But I really really want to share.) Okay, okay. Vagina. I said it. Vagina's are mostly private. Well, some of them anyway.

And something else. It's interesting, how we share our thoughts, and who we share them with. For example, now that I know that my aunt and mother are reading this blog, I probably won't share all the thoughts that I used to.

Or maybe I will, depending on how far I want to test the bondaries.

So... Yeah.

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I feel like I should write something really philosophical down now. Something that Andrew McMahon would be proud of. But I can't make myself tonight. Because thinking, no matter how good it is for you, can really be a drag (queen). And I mean that literally. There are two sides to thinking. The good, productive, self-cleansing kind, and the dark, I'm-going-to-drag-you-into-the-darkest-corner-of-your-thoughts-and-leave-you-there-moo-ha-ha-HA! kind. Just like a drag queen. Uh, kind of.

Thank you so much to the person who just got me thinking about drag queens.

I don't know.... Do you ever just feel like a shallow, self-absorbed person?

Okay. Not going there tonight.

Uh.... Did you know that birth control works on female gorillas? I didn't. Not until my lunch table was created.

Here's a little something to put the icing on your cake of a night:
Check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UoG-xQ9Lqc

Thank you all for reading!