My Life (mm-EYE l-EYE-f): def-
verb-
1. The daily existence of a person who goes by the alias of Kacie Renn Lynshah, and has many annoying, quirky, and otherwise character traits that she expresses freely.
2. A series of revelations set off by experiences taken from daily occurrences, the reading of Philosophy and Oprah magazine, interactions with others (whether they be the voices in her head, martians, or regular people), and brushing her teeth.
3. (My Life) can suck sometimes.
Synonyms: crazy, weird, odd, boring, geeky, spontaneous, freaky, idiosyncratic, dicey, wayward, amusing, stercoraceous, fanciful, mythical, lugubrious, blue, classic, wistful, pensive, colossal, unpredictable
Antonyms: bland, tame, sugar-coated, shallow, cursory, superficial, doltish, gullible, chipper
If I said I had (yet, ANOTHER) revelation today, would you be surprised? No? I didn't think so.
So what is it today? What life shifting, prodigious realization did you have now? You're on you toes, just waiting with baited breath for me to tell you, I know.
But what's funny is that I've had this one before. Repeatedly. And I don't know how many times I'll have to figure it out before it finally sinks in. Maybe it never will.
I want my life to mean something. I've written about it here before. But I never get past that. I never get past the conceiving stage. I never get to the action.
But I can't really live unless I have experiences, and in order to do that, I have to actually PUT MYSELF OUT THERE. And I don't know why, but it seems like my courage has suddenly left. The building where it used to reside is vacant. The question concerning that is whether it just decided it needed a change of scenery, or if it was evicted.
I can see all of these opportunities around me, and they are exactly what I asked for. But I can't seem to follow through on any of them. And I have no idea what's holding me back, because we all have only so much time to make something of ourselves. I should be over-joyed to take what is offered and use it to better myself, my life.
But my guts? They've also left me stranded.
I've heard of people before who think too much. Who analyze everything down to the tiniest detail.
I strongly dislike those people. They are the people who can't let go long enough to have fun.
But I think I'm one of those people. Or becoming one. And that scares me.
And the advice that is always given to those types of people is to just let their instincts take over. Be more like an animal, they (whoever the hell "they" are) say.
But how do you do that? Anybody know?
(chirp, chirp)
Guess not.
There's more to it then just that.... I just don't want to address it. And maybe that's another problem of mine. I just don't want to deal with my issues.
The perpetual procrastinator: I'll do it later.
Anyway, if you were curious as to what set me off this time, it was this article in close succession to this one. One of them, appropriately named What a Drag It is, just brought me down and weakened my defense system long enough for the next one, who was about somebody that I've met before, to really get to me.
And before I go, I'd like to just point out a general observation.
I've noticed that people, such as myself, who are involved in theatre generally keep to themselves. I don't want to say that they are shy, because obviously anyone who can't get up in front of people and make themselves look completely stupid (not all of the time, but a great majority of the time) are not shy. But they don't really share themselves with other people, not their whole selves. And that's why theatre is so good for them; they can put on any character they want to, make themselves anybody. It's a great evasion technique. And that makes me wonder something else: is theatre really a healthy activity then?
Of course, theatre people aren't all like that. There really are the genuine performers who like attention, people, getting to know people completely, and having others know who they are. But these people aren't specifically drawn to theatre. That would be a stereotype. Those type of people are evenly distributed throughout all of the world's hobbies.
So, with that brain food to chew on (has anyone ever thought about that besides me? What it would look like if a brain was actually chewing something?), I'll leave you. Have a good day, and thank you for reading.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Fact: Turtles live in Rivers, and if you dip you feet in those rivers, they will eat your feet! (I'm not talking from experience... I'm just assuming)
Today was an adventure.
Really... An ADVENTURE.
So, I learned something about people today.
Oh, you want to know what I learned?! Oh. Hm... I'm not sure I can do that.
Well, I suppose I can make an exception, just this once.
I learned that, sometimes, they are okay.
What, you ask. People?
Yes. People. People can be okay.
It's interesting, though, if you think about it. People have so many sides, so many sharp edges, and they are all different (but not in an extreme way, because then it would be bordering on a multiple personality disorder...). Today I was my quiet, content self.
And that was okay. And I wasn't sure if it would be. But it was. And I'm glad.
The thing is, your moods effect other people's moods. And sometimes that can be scary, because you're not sure if you're bringing them down, or boring them, or if they think you're ruining all of the fun.
And sometimes they do think those things. Or at least I do.
But other times, it's okay. It's okay to be quiet, to think about stuff, in that pensive silence. And it's okay to just chill out on a Saturday afternoon and not have any expectations--
No, I do NOT want to restart now!
Uh, sorry. My computer has updates it's trying to download. Where was I?
Oh yeah. It's okay to not have have anything expected of you, to just be there.
I don't know who will read this. I don't really care. But I'm glad that I have friends. And I think they might be real friends.
So, here's a recap of my day:
The first half I spent driving around town and hanging up posters advertising the play I'm in, You Can't Take It With You (April 29-May 1 at 7:30 pm, and May 2 matinee at North High School... Go there. Buy tickets. Watch the show. It's funny.). That was really funny. There are so many little stories that I have... Needless to say, I laughed a lot.
Then I hung out with Karyn, and we got completely lost on our way to Coldstone Creamery (but boy was it worth it). We drove all over town, to the very outskirts of town, until there wasn't even a road any more, and then back again. At Coldstone, we picked up Plant Toes-are-rude (Not a secret alias for Grant....It's not!), and then we ended up driving all over the town right next-door. We went to the new Trollwood (because I hadn't seen it yet), and then ended up back at the old one.
And I realized something else.
Traditions mean something, and so does home.
The new Trollwood? It's cold and empty and so, so lonely. It gives me goosebumps (not good ones) just thinking about it.
But the old Trollwood.... It just eminates positive energy. Every time I think about it (even though I was never really involved with much Trollwood stuff) I feel at home. It's a personal, happy place, where I met people I will always remember and learned things I can't forget. It's cozy because it isn't huge and spread out, and it's got famous land marks that have generations and generations of good memories attached to it, from all of the people who have been , used to, still do go there.
It's really, really good.
But we (Karyn and I, because by then Plant had to go home...) had more adventures there. We stuck our feet in the river and talked about not falling in and drowning, and we waited to see some fish jump out of the water. (There actually a couple that did, but although Karyn was the one who really wanted to see them, I was the one who caught sight of them, every time.)
I even drank some of the river water.
I know, I know. But before you go all, "Ohmygod!Isthatsanitary?Idon'tthinkitis....youshouldgotoadoctorbeforeyoudie!Ewwwwthat'ssogross!!!!," let me just say that our river has some of the cleanest water in the world. It wasn't like I was drinking out of the Hudson River. And it was only a really, really little bit.
Anyway. Adventures.
I don't really know what else to say. I could go on and on, but it would all come out as Philosophical crap, and I'm sure you don't want to sit there and read it. (I promised myself that last time would be the last time....)
Thank you for reading.
(Gah! Restart LATER!!!!)
Really... An ADVENTURE.
So, I learned something about people today.
Oh, you want to know what I learned?! Oh. Hm... I'm not sure I can do that.
Well, I suppose I can make an exception, just this once.
I learned that, sometimes, they are okay.
What, you ask. People?
Yes. People. People can be okay.
It's interesting, though, if you think about it. People have so many sides, so many sharp edges, and they are all different (but not in an extreme way, because then it would be bordering on a multiple personality disorder...). Today I was my quiet, content self.
And that was okay. And I wasn't sure if it would be. But it was. And I'm glad.
The thing is, your moods effect other people's moods. And sometimes that can be scary, because you're not sure if you're bringing them down, or boring them, or if they think you're ruining all of the fun.
And sometimes they do think those things. Or at least I do.
But other times, it's okay. It's okay to be quiet, to think about stuff, in that pensive silence. And it's okay to just chill out on a Saturday afternoon and not have any expectations--
No, I do NOT want to restart now!
Uh, sorry. My computer has updates it's trying to download. Where was I?
Oh yeah. It's okay to not have have anything expected of you, to just be there.
I don't know who will read this. I don't really care. But I'm glad that I have friends. And I think they might be real friends.
So, here's a recap of my day:
The first half I spent driving around town and hanging up posters advertising the play I'm in, You Can't Take It With You (April 29-May 1 at 7:30 pm, and May 2 matinee at North High School... Go there. Buy tickets. Watch the show. It's funny.). That was really funny. There are so many little stories that I have... Needless to say, I laughed a lot.
Then I hung out with Karyn, and we got completely lost on our way to Coldstone Creamery (but boy was it worth it). We drove all over town, to the very outskirts of town, until there wasn't even a road any more, and then back again. At Coldstone, we picked up Plant Toes-are-rude (Not a secret alias for Grant....It's not!), and then we ended up driving all over the town right next-door. We went to the new Trollwood (because I hadn't seen it yet), and then ended up back at the old one.
And I realized something else.
Traditions mean something, and so does home.
The new Trollwood? It's cold and empty and so, so lonely. It gives me goosebumps (not good ones) just thinking about it.
But the old Trollwood.... It just eminates positive energy. Every time I think about it (even though I was never really involved with much Trollwood stuff) I feel at home. It's a personal, happy place, where I met people I will always remember and learned things I can't forget. It's cozy because it isn't huge and spread out, and it's got famous land marks that have generations and generations of good memories attached to it, from all of the people who have been , used to, still do go there.
It's really, really good.
But we (Karyn and I, because by then Plant had to go home...) had more adventures there. We stuck our feet in the river and talked about not falling in and drowning, and we waited to see some fish jump out of the water. (There actually a couple that did, but although Karyn was the one who really wanted to see them, I was the one who caught sight of them, every time.)
I even drank some of the river water.
I know, I know. But before you go all, "Ohmygod!Isthatsanitary?Idon'tthinkitis....youshouldgotoadoctorbeforeyoudie!Ewwwwthat'ssogross!!!!," let me just say that our river has some of the cleanest water in the world. It wasn't like I was drinking out of the Hudson River. And it was only a really, really little bit.
Anyway. Adventures.
I don't really know what else to say. I could go on and on, but it would all come out as Philosophical crap, and I'm sure you don't want to sit there and read it. (I promised myself that last time would be the last time....)
Thank you for reading.
(Gah! Restart LATER!!!!)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Exhaustion and Stressful Circumstances: Two Factors Contributing to the Fall of Troy
Really, what other excuse do the Trojans have? Unless you're mentally and physically spent, there is no reason why you would let your enemy bring you a gargantuan wooden horse to put in town square. It's just ridiculous.
Stress is like being sick. For days you have a stomach ache, and finally when you puke, you feel much better. It's the same with stress. You feel awful, and then you relieve the stress, and Oh boy! Did you even know it was possible to feel this good?
Stress is like being sick. For days you have a stomach ache, and finally when you puke, you feel much better. It's the same with stress. You feel awful, and then you relieve the stress, and Oh boy! Did you even know it was possible to feel this good?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I Took a Nap Today....
Okay. First of all, when you have an entry on your blog called, "I Took a Nap Today," you know your life is boring.
Speaking (or would it be typing???) of my boring life, why do I even write this blog? I mean, besides the fact that I would go crazy unless I had some sort of creative outlet to spew all of my, uh, creative juice onto. (Bad visual, I know. Sorry)
I mean, it's not like anything interesting ever happens to me. Well, sometimes it does. But if I waited for an interesting event every time I wrote here, then the entries would be scarce and far between. (Is that how the saying goes? Or is it "far and in between? I can't remember right now.)
Anyway, I'm writing tonight, not because I have anything interesting to report, but just because I took a nap today.
How does this connect, you ask?
I can't sleep, because I slept earlier. Ughngngng.
This morning I had show choir. I haven't talked about show choir on here before because I don't really think it's worth mentioning. (We aren't very good, but SHHHH! It's a secret!) So I had it this morning, and, you know, it's funny. But all of the songs we are singing are Jazz songs.
I love jazz. But I auditioned to be in show choir. Blahblahblah.
I actually don't even care that much. I'm just trying to find an interesting topic to rant about for a while. That one was a failure, though.
Oh! Here's one: Story Time!
This weekend I went to the library to check out some books on Mythology (Hello, My name is Kaci, and I am a bookaholic and I've been a nerd all of my life....) (P.S. My name isn't really Kaci. But I don't want to discriminate myself, so I use an alias. It makes it harder for the police to keep tabs on my crazy, idealistic protests and the general riling up of people if I have a number of different aliases.) (Hey! I have three side comments in parenthesis now! Cool!)
Anyway. Library. Mythology books. So I went there, and right away I got side tracked by the audio books, immediately skipping over to them to find something good. (I did find something good.... Brave New World. I almost checked it out, but then thought better of it; I don't need anymore fuel for my borderline communistic brain.)
So I'm (covertly) checking out this college guy a few shelves down (books aren't the only things you can check out in a library), when all of a sudden this middle aged guy obstructs my view (and it was a nice view) by stepping in front of me on the other side of the shelf. I'm annoyed, so I move down the shelf, pretending to look at audio books. But then I see Brave New World, and it catches my eye, and then I really am looking at audio books, and not college guys. Needless to say that by the time I looked up again, any cute guys had disappeared, and all that was left was a middle aged man, a few feet down from me.
Dejected (hardly.), I decide to browse through the nonfiction section of books, in hopes that I might come across the Mythology books without having to actually interact with the librarian. And as I'm walking down the isles, (ooooh. Are you ready? I'm going to do some foreshadowing) out of the corner of my eye, that middle aged man is looking at books, a shelf down from me. Hmm. Interesting.
At this point I think I'd like to put in a further description of this man. That way, if you happen to see him at the library, you can be aware of what kind of situation you're dealing with.
He was a white, Caucasian (oh wait, I already said that) male, middle aged as I previously said. He was short. 5' 7" maybe. He also had a beer gut, but not an overly large one like some people have, you know, the kind that jiggles when they walk? He was wearing track pants and a red t-shirt, and a baseball cap (probably to hid his heinous balding scalp. Or maybe he had horns or something. I don't really know.).
I don't really think much of it at this point. I'm just looking at books. It's not like I'm in the teen/children's section either. These are big-girl books. Adults are welcome here. But I keep moving through the nonfiction section, and just so you know, it's a big section. It takes up half of the floor. I end up near the back left corner, and the man is still just a few shelves down from me, or sometimes on the other side of the shelf I'm looking at, so that I'll be looking at a book, and I'll glance up and see his (Uh, I don't want to say ugly...) less-than-attractive (although I wouldn't really care if he was unattractive. I was just kind of creeped out.) face RIGHT there. I jumped a couple of times, and almost screamed once.
Okay, so I was trying not to panic. Panicking would be a very, VERY bad thing. It's like the animal kingdom. Never show fear.
Except I wasn't 100% sure if he was following me. It could be a coincidence.... It would be quite a stretch, considering I started at the audio books, which is in the center of the library, and then went meandering through the whole left side. I decided to head to the extreme opposite of the library, and if he followed me there, I decided, well, then that meant he was probably a stalker/pedophile/rapist. *shudder*
I shuffled to the right side of the building, to the fiction section. I figured if it was a coincidence up until this point, it would be kind of believable. But what kind of a person looks for an audio book, and then browses the whole nonfiction section (obviously for something specific), and then decides "Hey, I think I'll get a fiction book too,"? ( mean, besides me. But I wasn't even looking for a specific book. I was just messing around.) The genres were just too different to make sense.
Anyway, he followed me there too. Okay, so I was getting freaked out. And unfortunately, this side of the library was much more deserted than the other one. The only other person there was a homeless guy catching some zzz's under a huge pile of hoodies and paper grocery bags. (I have no idea why the grocery bags were there, seeing as how they were empty)
Then, like super hero--is it a bird, is it a plane....? No, it's a--text message. I got a text message from a friend who was meeting me there, saying something along the lines of "Where are you?" (I know. I am also astounded by the aptitude and depth this text contained.) I almost peed my pants I was so relieved. (well, not really. If at any time I would have peed my pants, it would have been when I finally knew that that weird man was following me.)
So I found my friend and explained to him that a creeper was hot on my tracks, and we boogied to the teen room, where it would have been too blatantly obvious for him to follow us.
The End.... Or is it?
The walls of the teen room are glass. And my stalker sat down at a table with a news paper, pretending to read, when what he was really doing was watching me from over the top of it. How insanely creepy is that?!
Okay. Now it's the end. (Oh, one more thing. So you know how I said he was wearing track pants? I bet he wasn't even in track! OUTRAGEOUS.)
Did you like my story? I know. It scared me too. Anyway. I think I'll go to bed now. Thanks for reading!
Speaking (or would it be typing???) of my boring life, why do I even write this blog? I mean, besides the fact that I would go crazy unless I had some sort of creative outlet to spew all of my, uh, creative juice onto. (Bad visual, I know. Sorry)
I mean, it's not like anything interesting ever happens to me. Well, sometimes it does. But if I waited for an interesting event every time I wrote here, then the entries would be scarce and far between. (Is that how the saying goes? Or is it "far and in between? I can't remember right now.)
Anyway, I'm writing tonight, not because I have anything interesting to report, but just because I took a nap today.
How does this connect, you ask?
I can't sleep, because I slept earlier. Ughngngng.
This morning I had show choir. I haven't talked about show choir on here before because I don't really think it's worth mentioning. (We aren't very good, but SHHHH! It's a secret!) So I had it this morning, and, you know, it's funny. But all of the songs we are singing are Jazz songs.
I love jazz. But I auditioned to be in show choir. Blahblahblah.
I actually don't even care that much. I'm just trying to find an interesting topic to rant about for a while. That one was a failure, though.
Oh! Here's one: Story Time!
This weekend I went to the library to check out some books on Mythology (Hello, My name is Kaci, and I am a bookaholic and I've been a nerd all of my life....) (P.S. My name isn't really Kaci. But I don't want to discriminate myself, so I use an alias. It makes it harder for the police to keep tabs on my crazy, idealistic protests and the general riling up of people if I have a number of different aliases.) (Hey! I have three side comments in parenthesis now! Cool!)
Anyway. Library. Mythology books. So I went there, and right away I got side tracked by the audio books, immediately skipping over to them to find something good. (I did find something good.... Brave New World. I almost checked it out, but then thought better of it; I don't need anymore fuel for my borderline communistic brain.)
So I'm (covertly) checking out this college guy a few shelves down (books aren't the only things you can check out in a library), when all of a sudden this middle aged guy obstructs my view (and it was a nice view) by stepping in front of me on the other side of the shelf. I'm annoyed, so I move down the shelf, pretending to look at audio books. But then I see Brave New World, and it catches my eye, and then I really am looking at audio books, and not college guys. Needless to say that by the time I looked up again, any cute guys had disappeared, and all that was left was a middle aged man, a few feet down from me.
Dejected (hardly.), I decide to browse through the nonfiction section of books, in hopes that I might come across the Mythology books without having to actually interact with the librarian. And as I'm walking down the isles, (ooooh. Are you ready? I'm going to do some foreshadowing) out of the corner of my eye, that middle aged man is looking at books, a shelf down from me. Hmm. Interesting.
At this point I think I'd like to put in a further description of this man. That way, if you happen to see him at the library, you can be aware of what kind of situation you're dealing with.
He was a white, Caucasian (oh wait, I already said that) male, middle aged as I previously said. He was short. 5' 7" maybe. He also had a beer gut, but not an overly large one like some people have, you know, the kind that jiggles when they walk? He was wearing track pants and a red t-shirt, and a baseball cap (probably to hid his heinous balding scalp. Or maybe he had horns or something. I don't really know.).
I don't really think much of it at this point. I'm just looking at books. It's not like I'm in the teen/children's section either. These are big-girl books. Adults are welcome here. But I keep moving through the nonfiction section, and just so you know, it's a big section. It takes up half of the floor. I end up near the back left corner, and the man is still just a few shelves down from me, or sometimes on the other side of the shelf I'm looking at, so that I'll be looking at a book, and I'll glance up and see his (Uh, I don't want to say ugly...) less-than-attractive (although I wouldn't really care if he was unattractive. I was just kind of creeped out.) face RIGHT there. I jumped a couple of times, and almost screamed once.
Okay, so I was trying not to panic. Panicking would be a very, VERY bad thing. It's like the animal kingdom. Never show fear.
Except I wasn't 100% sure if he was following me. It could be a coincidence.... It would be quite a stretch, considering I started at the audio books, which is in the center of the library, and then went meandering through the whole left side. I decided to head to the extreme opposite of the library, and if he followed me there, I decided, well, then that meant he was probably a stalker/pedophile/rapist. *shudder*
I shuffled to the right side of the building, to the fiction section. I figured if it was a coincidence up until this point, it would be kind of believable. But what kind of a person looks for an audio book, and then browses the whole nonfiction section (obviously for something specific), and then decides "Hey, I think I'll get a fiction book too,"? ( mean, besides me. But I wasn't even looking for a specific book. I was just messing around.) The genres were just too different to make sense.
Anyway, he followed me there too. Okay, so I was getting freaked out. And unfortunately, this side of the library was much more deserted than the other one. The only other person there was a homeless guy catching some zzz's under a huge pile of hoodies and paper grocery bags. (I have no idea why the grocery bags were there, seeing as how they were empty)
Then, like super hero--is it a bird, is it a plane....? No, it's a--text message. I got a text message from a friend who was meeting me there, saying something along the lines of "Where are you?" (I know. I am also astounded by the aptitude and depth this text contained.) I almost peed my pants I was so relieved. (well, not really. If at any time I would have peed my pants, it would have been when I finally knew that that weird man was following me.)
So I found my friend and explained to him that a creeper was hot on my tracks, and we boogied to the teen room, where it would have been too blatantly obvious for him to follow us.
The End.... Or is it?
The walls of the teen room are glass. And my stalker sat down at a table with a news paper, pretending to read, when what he was really doing was watching me from over the top of it. How insanely creepy is that?!
Okay. Now it's the end. (Oh, one more thing. So you know how I said he was wearing track pants? I bet he wasn't even in track! OUTRAGEOUS.)
Did you like my story? I know. It scared me too. Anyway. I think I'll go to bed now. Thanks for reading!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Funny thought....
What if there was a pet store called "The Three Blind Mice"? Or better yet, a bar. Am I the only one who thinks that would be funny?
Today I reconnected with my childhood and blew a whole lot of bubbles.
So I was thinking that I would write about one of my favorite topics today: Shallow People!
Actually, it's not my favorite topic. Just one of my favorites to write about.
Okay, I'll keep this brief; I don't want to bring anyone down with my toxic waste.
I really don't care for shallow people and/or behavior. In fact, it's a borderline hate relationship.
I added the behavior part because I know some people who aren't really shallow, but act like they are. Why they would want to is beyond me, but.... Sometimes that's what I witness in people I see at school. In my friends (Well, some of them).
When my friends are caught up in this shallow behavior, I try to be patient. I let them do what they want to; I don't rag on them because they are making themselves look stupid. They are my friends after all, and if I don't support their choices, then I should at least keep my mouth shut when they talk to me, so I don't say something that would hurt their feelings, and that I would really regret later.
But sometimes.... Ooooh. I just want to sock them.
There's only so much one person can take. And I guess that there are times when it doesn't seem so important, the way they are acting. Those are the times when you can see the light: when they say or do something that makes you think, "Gee, there's still hope for them!"
And then there are the times when the shallowness acts up, or the sun comes out and evaporates the pool of their souls, and a drought sets in. And they just get smaller and smalllllerrr.....
What really bothers me is when you have a friend who acts completely different when you're hanging out with them one on one. Someone who will be really thoughtful and considerate and insightful when you're alone together, and then who will be like, "Ohmygaaawwwwd!NOWAAAAY?Nawaw.ShedidNOTsaythat,WHATNo,hewouldn'tdosomething,like,sototally,like,um,bad!" when they are in public or a big group of people.
In fact, shallow behavior/people rank #2 on my Grates on my Nerves List. (#3 is country music, and #1 is when someone doesn't put the vacuum cleaner away correctly.)
Thank you for reading that. If you did. I guess I just needed to vent. If this entry connected to you in anyway, I hope it will help.
(Although I feel like I shouldn't really be talking, since this entry has been completely self-centered. Seriously... Count how many times I used the word "I." It's a darn lot. But there is a difference between being self-centered and being shallow. A BIG difference. It just so happens that, more times than not, the combination or no depth and self-centeredness equals a shallow person.)
I'm going to end this entry. It wasn't really worth it for you to read it, since it was mostly a tool for me to express my frustration in a healthy way. (The alternative was expressing it in an extremely UN-healthy way by screaming at someone (e.i. a shallow person) and throwing a pair of my dirty socks at them. Repeatedly.)
Before I sign off, I'd like to mention the Polish President, Mr. Lech Kaczynski, and the First Lady, Mrs. Maria Kaczynski, and all of the other polish officials. It is a very sad event that has happened. No one expected the plane to crash. Let all the souls who were on that plain find peace in heaven.
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Just like the Movies....
Hello Everybody, and welcome to tonight's showwwwww!
For your entertainment this fine evening..........(babadaBUM!) me!
The song of the night is "The Blues are Still Blue" by Belle and Sebastian.
The thing about this song is that, for me, it's borderline annoying. But it seems to fit the theme of today, and I'm waking up to it tomarrow, so what the hell.
I would like to address a serious issue with you today. My life.
Okay, okay. I know it doesn't sound that exciting, but I'll try to spice it up.
Keep in mind that when I planned out this entry, I was in a very serious mood, and now I'm not. I almost wish I was, so that I could write what I really mean, but.... Oh well.
Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie. Does that ever happen to you? For example, at my school they play music during the time we have inbetween bells. I'll be walking down the hallways, looking particularily snazzy one day, and a draft will come out of no where and blow my hair in a model-esque way, and I'll be stepping in perfect time to the beat of the song. The sound track of my life.
But it's not just that. As over used this idea is, I feel like my life isn't real sometimes. Silly, right?
Or, maybe it is real, but I'm stuck perminantly in the expostition, of that first scene where the characters are introduced and you get to know the main character and what her life is like. But nothing has happened yet... I know what you're thinking. Every teen feels like this blahblahblah. Well, you're probably right. But this is how I feel, right now, dammit. And I'm going to tell you all about it.
Anyway, I'm just waiting for the plot to unfold. And I know there is a plot, and a good one, too. this isn't that kind of movie where the characters run around doing drugs and having sex and escaping ax-weilding pysicopaths and having sex again (Although that would make my life very interesting if that was the case....). But in all of those movies, nobody does anything of importance, so what's the point? No. My life is a blockbuster waiting to happen. It will be bigger than Avatar.
Here's the part where I talk about my feelings, so if you're squeemish... Well, look out.
I feel like I need to do something really important with my life. Not like become the president or cure cancer important (although I wouldn't complain if I did do those things too... Naw. Too much effort.), but something substantial. Something recognizable. And something very far away from here.
Does everyone feel like that?
I'm guessing the answer is yes, and that's kind of depressing. If I can't even have unique feelings, how am I supposed to go and do something unique with my life?
Anyway, going back to the movie thing. I wish the director knew what they were doing. (Hey, since this is my life, does that make me the director? And if so, does that mean that I have complete control over my life? Hm. Deep things to ponder.) There are some times when I just want to say, "Cut! Cut! That was terrible! Do it all over again!" Or some times I want to cut scenes that shouldn't have ever been written. (Stupid writers...getting carried away with themselves...)
And quite often I find the actors are less that satifactory as well. But hey, that's life.
Have you ever seen a movie where you can hear the character's thoughts? Like a sort of voice over? I'm sure you have, because I've seen plenty of them. It's kind of tacky, right? When you can hear thoughts, because thoughts aren't meant to be heard. But sometimes it seems like I'm in one of those movies. It's hard to believe that no one but me can hear what I'm thinking. Especially on those days when my thoughts are actually coherent. And it's weird to think that I'm the only witness to the fragmented or fluent ponderings that are the fruit of my mind. (Geez. Do you see what I mean? Some of my thoughts are so pretentious they practically scream.)
Have you ever not realized that you weren't talking because you're thinking so loudly, your thoughts should be able to be heard all on their own? No? That just happens to me? Oh. Well.
But if you think about it, private thoughts are a blessing. I guess this seems kind of obvious. But it's a miracle. All of those mean things that you think and then instantly regret... No one has to know about them but you. In a world where everything and everyone is on display, the only thing that we do have that's private are our thoughts. (hehe. I just had a funny thought of something else that's mostly private, but I'm not going to type it here because I'll probably regret it later. Ohh. But I really really want to share.) Okay, okay. Vagina. I said it. Vagina's are mostly private. Well, some of them anyway.
And something else. It's interesting, how we share our thoughts, and who we share them with. For example, now that I know that my aunt and mother are reading this blog, I probably won't share all the thoughts that I used to.
Or maybe I will, depending on how far I want to test the bondaries.
So... Yeah.
Um......
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...
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.......
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.........
.............
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.
I feel like I should write something really philosophical down now. Something that Andrew McMahon would be proud of. But I can't make myself tonight. Because thinking, no matter how good it is for you, can really be a drag (queen). And I mean that literally. There are two sides to thinking. The good, productive, self-cleansing kind, and the dark, I'm-going-to-drag-you-into-the-darkest-corner-of-your-thoughts-and-leave-you-there-moo-ha-ha-HA! kind. Just like a drag queen. Uh, kind of.
Thank you so much to the person who just got me thinking about drag queens.
I don't know.... Do you ever just feel like a shallow, self-absorbed person?
Okay. Not going there tonight.
Uh.... Did you know that birth control works on female gorillas? I didn't. Not until my lunch table was created.
Here's a little something to put the icing on your cake of a night:
Check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UoG-xQ9Lqc
Thank you all for reading!
For your entertainment this fine evening..........(babadaBUM!) me!
The song of the night is "The Blues are Still Blue" by Belle and Sebastian.
The thing about this song is that, for me, it's borderline annoying. But it seems to fit the theme of today, and I'm waking up to it tomarrow, so what the hell.
I would like to address a serious issue with you today. My life.
Okay, okay. I know it doesn't sound that exciting, but I'll try to spice it up.
Keep in mind that when I planned out this entry, I was in a very serious mood, and now I'm not. I almost wish I was, so that I could write what I really mean, but.... Oh well.
Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie. Does that ever happen to you? For example, at my school they play music during the time we have inbetween bells. I'll be walking down the hallways, looking particularily snazzy one day, and a draft will come out of no where and blow my hair in a model-esque way, and I'll be stepping in perfect time to the beat of the song. The sound track of my life.
But it's not just that. As over used this idea is, I feel like my life isn't real sometimes. Silly, right?
Or, maybe it is real, but I'm stuck perminantly in the expostition, of that first scene where the characters are introduced and you get to know the main character and what her life is like. But nothing has happened yet... I know what you're thinking. Every teen feels like this blahblahblah. Well, you're probably right. But this is how I feel, right now, dammit. And I'm going to tell you all about it.
Anyway, I'm just waiting for the plot to unfold. And I know there is a plot, and a good one, too. this isn't that kind of movie where the characters run around doing drugs and having sex and escaping ax-weilding pysicopaths and having sex again (Although that would make my life very interesting if that was the case....). But in all of those movies, nobody does anything of importance, so what's the point? No. My life is a blockbuster waiting to happen. It will be bigger than Avatar.
Here's the part where I talk about my feelings, so if you're squeemish... Well, look out.
I feel like I need to do something really important with my life. Not like become the president or cure cancer important (although I wouldn't complain if I did do those things too... Naw. Too much effort.), but something substantial. Something recognizable. And something very far away from here.
Does everyone feel like that?
I'm guessing the answer is yes, and that's kind of depressing. If I can't even have unique feelings, how am I supposed to go and do something unique with my life?
Anyway, going back to the movie thing. I wish the director knew what they were doing. (Hey, since this is my life, does that make me the director? And if so, does that mean that I have complete control over my life? Hm. Deep things to ponder.) There are some times when I just want to say, "Cut! Cut! That was terrible! Do it all over again!" Or some times I want to cut scenes that shouldn't have ever been written. (Stupid writers...getting carried away with themselves...)
And quite often I find the actors are less that satifactory as well. But hey, that's life.
Have you ever seen a movie where you can hear the character's thoughts? Like a sort of voice over? I'm sure you have, because I've seen plenty of them. It's kind of tacky, right? When you can hear thoughts, because thoughts aren't meant to be heard. But sometimes it seems like I'm in one of those movies. It's hard to believe that no one but me can hear what I'm thinking. Especially on those days when my thoughts are actually coherent. And it's weird to think that I'm the only witness to the fragmented or fluent ponderings that are the fruit of my mind. (Geez. Do you see what I mean? Some of my thoughts are so pretentious they practically scream.)
Have you ever not realized that you weren't talking because you're thinking so loudly, your thoughts should be able to be heard all on their own? No? That just happens to me? Oh. Well.
But if you think about it, private thoughts are a blessing. I guess this seems kind of obvious. But it's a miracle. All of those mean things that you think and then instantly regret... No one has to know about them but you. In a world where everything and everyone is on display, the only thing that we do have that's private are our thoughts. (hehe. I just had a funny thought of something else that's mostly private, but I'm not going to type it here because I'll probably regret it later. Ohh. But I really really want to share.) Okay, okay. Vagina. I said it. Vagina's are mostly private. Well, some of them anyway.
And something else. It's interesting, how we share our thoughts, and who we share them with. For example, now that I know that my aunt and mother are reading this blog, I probably won't share all the thoughts that I used to.
Or maybe I will, depending on how far I want to test the bondaries.
So... Yeah.
Um......
....
...
...
.
..
.....
.......
..........
............
...........
........
.........
.............
..............
............
........
....
..
.
I feel like I should write something really philosophical down now. Something that Andrew McMahon would be proud of. But I can't make myself tonight. Because thinking, no matter how good it is for you, can really be a drag (queen). And I mean that literally. There are two sides to thinking. The good, productive, self-cleansing kind, and the dark, I'm-going-to-drag-you-into-the-darkest-corner-of-your-thoughts-and-leave-you-there-moo-ha-ha-HA! kind. Just like a drag queen. Uh, kind of.
Thank you so much to the person who just got me thinking about drag queens.
I don't know.... Do you ever just feel like a shallow, self-absorbed person?
Okay. Not going there tonight.
Uh.... Did you know that birth control works on female gorillas? I didn't. Not until my lunch table was created.
Here's a little something to put the icing on your cake of a night:
Check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UoG-xQ9Lqc
Thank you all for reading!
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