SnowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowDAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is a snow day, if you haven't guessed.
I love snow days so much. I especially love the ones that you can go outside and make snow men and angels in. Unfortunately, this one is not one of those snow days, but it is equally fun. Even though the wind is howling--literally, it's HOWLING--outside my window right now, and the temperature in my house has dropped a significant amount, I still am excited about this snow day. It will give me a chance to do the homework that I didn't do yesterday, in hopes that there would be a snow day. Yay, I was right.
So anyway.... what am I going to do on this wonderful snow day, besides my homework? Well, I'm planning on reading and writing and checking my facebook (for once) and then I'll probably curl up in a really warm blanket and drink hot chocolate and all that jazz.
Oh, and I'm going to make a presentation while my mom is at work to convince her that she should take me to the Jack's Mannequin concert that is in February. Because I totally want to go, and plan on doing just that.
I was thinking last night (I know. This can be a dangerous thing for me,), and I had this really weird moment of clarity. I was thinking about my future and all of the things that I want in life, and then it came to me that I'm only 15 years old. Yeah, I know, right? You would think that that fact would be obviously apparent to me by now, but it wasn't. And then I realized that I've never really thought of myself as the actual age I am. I've always thought that I was younger or older. But last night I saw that I was really the age I am. This is a whole revelation in itself.
But that wasn't what I my huge epiphany. My huge one was this: what if I didn't have a future? What if it was suddenly taken away from me, maybe tomarrow? What would be my regrets? And I realized that I would have way to many to count. There are so many things that I haven't experienced, and that I want to so badly. I want to get started right now, but I can't exactly do that, especially without a car. So then what am I supposed to do? I have to look out for opportunities, and once I find them, I have to snatch them up as quick as I can. It was so bazaar to see this, to finally get this concept through my head, my mind is blown.
So, am I going to see that Jack's Mannequin concert? Bet your ass-cott.
But this isn't the only realization that came from that big one above. Another is I found the true meaning of the phrase "life is too short," and I also learned that living with fear is stupid, no matter how minor that fear may be. And I'm going to live fearlessly from now on. Yes I am.
Oooh. Song opportunity: "Fearless" by the Bravery. Good song, or at least I think so. It's practically my theme song.
Yeah... So, now that I've share a profound thought with you, I should move on to something more light.
I was given this spicy hot cocoa for Christmas, and I think I'm going to make some of that and a bowl of cereal in a few minutes. Except we don't have any good cereal in the house right now. *sigh*
So, here is a very short story corner. I mean, it's really short. But I'll post it anyway, because it needs to be posted. (Uh, duh.)
...............................
She stood in the kitchen, just staring at everything. She looked at it all at once, in that way that you do when you aren't really focusing on anything, but letting you mind wander to far away places. She vaguely wondered what her face looked like right now. Disappointed? Un-animated? Angry? Confused? Yeah, probably confused. She was glad that Ivan had gone back to bed.
But at the same time, she wished that he would come back out and kiss her, like he had almost done just five minutes ago.
What had happened? She had been so sure...
She liked him, okay? She really liked him. Finally, she would admit it to herself. It wasn't really practical, considering she barely knew him, and it wasn't a smart thing either because her knowledge of him was so limited. For all she knew, he could be a dangerous serial-psycho-stalker. But she felt drawn to him, just like he had said he was drawn to her. He had said that, hadn't he? She wasn't imagining it?
Because if she hadn't been imagining it, wouldn't he have kissed her just now? For a second it had looked like he was going to, but then he changed his mind. What had made him change his mind?
She replayed the scene in her head, trying to find his motive. He had been kind to her, comforting her when her dad had been a complete asshole. Then she had suggested that they not care about what Jim thought. That was a huge tip-off right there, and it was the best she could do at the time, considering her lack of experience with guys. But she was sure he had gotten the message, because he agreed, and looked at her in that way that made her shiver, that made her chest constrict in the most exhilarating way. And Then he had looked at her lips. Just once, very quickly. It had sent a shocking tingle up her spine. And she had known--she had just known--that he wanted to kiss her. So just to make sure he wouldn't be confused, she let her eyes wander down, which was the unofficial "kiss me" message. And as if her life wasn't full of enough cliches, her breath had actually stopped when he leaned in.
Then he had pulled back, for some reason unknown to her. And then came the popping.
And then the awkwardness. She sighed. Why? Just why.
Shaking herself, although she could not shake her disappointment, she reached out and started to gather all of the dishes, plopping them in the sink and starting the water.
Once she had finished with that, and had picked up the rest of the kitchen, she grabbed her colored pencils and sketch pad, and headed for the door, donning her coat. She needed to get away, to not think for a while. Ivan would be fine.
Opening the door, she braved the chilly wind and ran to the park, to sketch out her frustration.
But at the same time, she wished that he would come back out and kiss her, like he had almost done just five minutes ago.
What had happened? She had been so sure...
She liked him, okay? She really liked him. Finally, she would admit it to herself. It wasn't really practical, considering she barely knew him, and it wasn't a smart thing either because her knowledge of him was so limited. For all she knew, he could be a dangerous serial-psycho-stalker. But she felt drawn to him, just like he had said he was drawn to her. He had said that, hadn't he? She wasn't imagining it?
Because if she hadn't been imagining it, wouldn't he have kissed her just now? For a second it had looked like he was going to, but then he changed his mind. What had made him change his mind?
She replayed the scene in her head, trying to find his motive. He had been kind to her, comforting her when her dad had been a complete asshole. Then she had suggested that they not care about what Jim thought. That was a huge tip-off right there, and it was the best she could do at the time, considering her lack of experience with guys. But she was sure he had gotten the message, because he agreed, and looked at her in that way that made her shiver, that made her chest constrict in the most exhilarating way. And Then he had looked at her lips. Just once, very quickly. It had sent a shocking tingle up her spine. And she had known--she had just known--that he wanted to kiss her. So just to make sure he wouldn't be confused, she let her eyes wander down, which was the unofficial "kiss me" message. And as if her life wasn't full of enough cliches, her breath had actually stopped when he leaned in.
Then he had pulled back, for some reason unknown to her. And then came the popping.
And then the awkwardness. She sighed. Why? Just why.
Shaking herself, although she could not shake her disappointment, she reached out and started to gather all of the dishes, plopping them in the sink and starting the water.
Once she had finished with that, and had picked up the rest of the kitchen, she grabbed her colored pencils and sketch pad, and headed for the door, donning her coat. She needed to get away, to not think for a while. Ivan would be fine.
Opening the door, she braved the chilly wind and ran to the park, to sketch out her frustration.
............................
Thanks for reading y'all. I might be back later, because it's a SNOW DAY and I have nothing better to do. Bye...
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